I would like a penpal


Hello! I would like a penpal. 

I am female, from the UK and almost thirty.

I write under the pseudonym Quentin Snaefells for the moment. 

I like cats, hamsters, tree frogs, woodlice, and most other creatures, but horses give me a panic attack. They give off an air of malevolence I can’t quite explain. Still, I have an unrealistic dream of someday galloping through a field on one, hair blowing in the wind. 

For the past six months, there’s been a constant banging on the party wall of mine and next door’s house. It entertains me to imagine that it’s a some kind of demon-like creature, and having consumed the souls of my hapless neighbours it’s trying to break its way in here. Only by constant humming of “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” and closing my eyes really tightly can I hope to keep it at bay.

My favourite hex colour is #009999, but that’s not set in stone. There’s a lot to be said for #9900FF, or #FF33CC, for example. I’m open to discussion. 

I take Polaroids, use a typewriter, and pretend I live in the distant past, except there’s no racism, women have rights, and decent asthma medication has been invented.

I live in a tent in the garden three days out of seven. It’s a old childhood dream made real.

I’m very fond of the word “Tracklements.”

I make bad choices. I am attracted to bad choices. I am bad-choice-sexual. I’m going to marry a bad choice, have hideous children, and retire somewhere horrible.

 Hobbies & Interests:

  •  I like the seaside, cats, skateboarding, video games, tea parties, train rides, large fields and cramming myself into small spaces.

Favourite Music:

  • Alpaca Sports, Spaghetti Anywhere, Boy Least Likely To, The Siddeleys, The Field Mice, The Softies, One Happy Island, The Smiths, Morrissey, Fishboy.

Favourite Video Games:

  • FFIX, Klonoa, JumpingFlash! Fallout: NV, Tearaway, Beautiful Katamari, Splatoon, Link To The Past, Link’s Awakening, Fez, Monument Valley, Journey, SOTC, Limbo, Proteus, Unfinished Swan. 

Favourite Films:

  • Paper Moon, Harold & Maude, The Graduate, Delicatessen, Brazil, Journey To Agartha, Laputa: Castle In The Sky, The Lavender Hill Mob, Wolf Children, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Moonrise Kingdom, The Fall, Brief Encounter, Pan’s Labyrinth, Twelve Monkeys, Kind Hearts & Coronets, and all other kinds of wonderful nonsense.

Favourite Television:

  • Television gives me renal failure. But I will take a risk and watch Black Mirror , The Clangers (original series) if I’m feeling dangerous.

Favourite Books:

  • Day Of The Triffids,  Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, Three Men In A Boat, Confederacy of Dunces, Keep The Aspidistra Flying, We Have Always Lived In The Castle, White Teeth, Watership Down, Jane Eyre, Never Let Me Go, We Need To Talk About Kevin, The Handmaid’s Tale, Johnny Got His Gun, A Kestrel For A Knave, The Slaves Of Solitude, The Bachelor, Under The Skin, 100 Cupboards, Station Eleven, Abarat, His Dark Materials, Narnia chronicles, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland, War Of The Worlds, I Capture The Castle, The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter, A Kind Of Loving, My Antonia, Up The Junction, and The L-Shaped Room.

Random Fact: 

  • I’m nocturnal. – you know, like a bat or something. I can’t smell a thing. My calves are massive. I’ve also only got 31 teeth because one went a bit manky. Brush and floss, kids. 

All I ask is that we have something in common – similar taste in books or films, or even if you’re as eccentric as I like to think I am. Age is not important. Communication will be through snail mail.

Oh – and book recommendations are much appreciated! 

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